Now entire days have passed since Tim Cook and his Apple cohorts showed off the new iPad, we figured it's time to start complaining about it and outline our demands for the next iteration of Apple's tablet.
Despite essentially being a metal-backed pane of glass with a few buttons, a massive battery and a smallish circuit board, we've hardware-oriented wishes for Apple's next-generation device, which we're assuming is probably also going to be called 'the new iPad', or 'the new, new iPad' or perhaps Apple will return to numbering its tablets and we'll get an iPad 4.
1. Thinner, lighter, faster!
The new iPad is (very) slightly thicker than the previous one (although not the original iPad) and (very) slightly heavier. Through a combination of amazing engineering, technical breakthroughs and unicorn tears, we're dreaming of an iPad 4 that would be as light as a Kindle and as thin as something thinner than an iPad 2; we'd also like the iPad 4 to be faster, because we're demanding like that.
This comes at a cost: app file sizes. For example, the revamped GarageBand is a few hundred MB larger than the previous version. Yet iPads remain available only in 16, 32 and 64GB configurations. Would 128GB in the iPad 4 be too much to ask for?
3. Thunderbolt support
Apple's shift to wireless sync has removed one major reason for Thunderbolt, but rumours still abound about the high-speed I/O tech coming to iOS, providing compatibility with a new generation of peripherals. Adaptors could be released for legacy kit, further boosting Apple's coffers.
4. Better keyboard support
Steve Jobs hated the idea of a touchscreen computer, because it's an ergonomic nightmare that rapidly makes an outstretched arm shriek with pain. But this is what an iPad and a Bluetooth keyboard turns into.
To fix this, Apple would just need to make some extra keyboard commands baked into iOS, for example to enable app switching.
5. A truly magical screen
A Retina display? How 2010! What about haptic feedback? OK, so we didn't seriously invest in thoserumours, and a 'morphing' screen gives us T1000 nightmares, but it could be useful for feedback when typing and playing games on the iPad 4. And while Apple's at it, a better oleophobic coating that eradicates fingerprints would be lovely.
6. A smarter Smart Cover
The Smart Cover, or Mr Flappy as we call ours, needs to be smarter. It looks very swish and clever when the iPad wakes. It's also a reasonably good stand. But it's rubbish when you're holding an iPad and the cover's swinging about and then falls to the floor in comedy slapstick style.
7. Battery and charging improvements
Ten hours of usage from the new iPad is impressive, but that's a best-case scenario. Play some games or watch video and that figure will fall. Apple's hampered by technology, but in a year, who knows? An iPad 4 that lasts for a day on a single charge? Wireless charging? We can dream.
8. Improved speakers
If you want a reality check about the quality of the iPad's speaker, use an iPod touch for approximately ten seconds. The iPad will sound like a Bowers & Wilkins Zeppelin by comparison. But with so many great music, gaming and video apps, better speakers - More power! Stereo! - is nonetheless something we'd love to see (well, hear) on the iPad 4.
9. Near field communication
We're not suggesting Apple should add near field communication (NFC) to the iPad so you can wave it around like a massive glass-and-aluminium wallet. But NFC would enable iPads to be more commonly used for taking payments, and NFC across iOS devices as a whole could provide a boost to this emergent technology.
10. The same form factor (ish)
'Thinner and lighter' was our first wish, but we don't want 'smaller'. A 7-inch iPad? No thanks. iPad apps are designed for a ten-inch screen, and we're sure Apple doesn't want the box to include iMicroscope and iFileDownYourFingertips.
Similarly, people seem obsessed with binning the bezel, but we like it; the bezel enables you to hold your device without accidental touchscreen presses and without covering on-screen content. One of the iPad's greatest aspects has been strong usability, and we'd hate to see anything compromise that.
What do you want to see in the next iPad? Share your ideas in the comments.