You've just picked up your Xbox One, and you're suddenly feeling sick. It's just a little stomach bug. You ate some bad shrimp. You're sure it will clear up by the weekend, but you can't possibly come into work today.
For those too excited for the new consoles, Microsoft has created a "doctor's note", with customizable options so any "employee", "student", "wife" or "husband" and get out of their regular duties due to "zombie flu", "Roman rage" or — the best option — "Irritable Battle Syndrome."