Brandon: Would you rather live in the past or the future?
James: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’m so fascinated by the past, and it would be a lot of fun to travel back and check some things out. However, I love technology, too, and it’d be cooler than anything to see what lies in store in the next hundred—or even thousand—years.
Brandon: So, which one? You have to choose.
James: Okay, the past. History wins. Here’s one for you: Would you rather have a spirit animal that made you faster or stronger?
Brandon: I’m gonna go with stronger. I could protect my family, jump really high, and pick up trucks.
James: Pick up trucks? Why would you do that?
Brandon: I’m giving you a blank stare right now. Who wouldn’t want to pick up a truck?
James: Fair point.
Brandon: Would you rather visit Narnia or Oz?
James: Narnia, for sure. I want me some of that Turkish Delight. And flying monkeys scare me. Would you rather be lost in a man-made maze or a forbidden forest?
Brandon: I’m thinking maze. I mean, come on, all you have to do is that bit with keeping your right hand on the wall until you find an exit. Not sure how you turned that into an entire series, man. No offense.
James: None taken. I have a movie coming out.
Brandon: Ouch. You know, if the goal is in an interior portion of the maze where the walls don’t connect to the outer ones, the hand on the wall thing doesn’t work. I could draw a diagram for the director. Have they filmed it yet?
Brandon: Okay, would you rather go an entire year without the Internet or without seeing a movie?
James: Without the Internet. That’ll just give me more time to see movies. And read books.
Brandon: Best. Answer. Ever.
James: Would you rather have telepathy or telekinesis? I’ll give you a minute to google those definitions. Please hurry.
Brandon: Okay, I’m back. Definitely telekinesis. Way cooler to move things with your mind. Here’s a joke for you: If anyone here has telekinesis, raise my hand. Get it? My hand? You with me?
James: Would you rather be a knight or a wizard?
Brandon: Wizard. Who would choose a knight over a powerful, magical, immortal wizard?
James: Okay, then let me rephrase it. Would you rather be King Arthur or the old skinny dude that calls himself the Wizard of Oz?
Brandon: Knight it is. My new Five Kingdoms series has some knights and some wizardly types. And kids who get kidnapped into another world as slaves. Fun for the whole family!
James: All right, I highly doubt anyone has actually endured this “interview” to this point, so we might as well wrap it up. One more each. You, first.
Brandon: Would you rather have the best-selling book of all time or the highest-grossing movie of all time?
Brandon: You can’t answer that way.
Brandon: That’s against the rules. Which one?
Brandon: Choose one. Only one.
Brandon: Sigh. Fine, what’s my last question?
James: Would you rather have one billion dollars and be my personal servant twenty-four hours a day or have one dollar and never have to see me again?
Brandon: I’ll take the billion, then move to Lyrian.
James: Then I’ll go back in time and “disappear” your grandparents.
Brandon: I’ll be born anyhow. Just to spite you. Life finds a way. Are we done here?