My iPhone is the grown-up version of a security blanket. I sleep with the thing on my pillow. It is my alarm clock, my weather report, the nucleus of my social calendar and, occasionally, a hand-held device that I use to make phone calls.
It is also the most irrational purchase I've ever made. Let me explain.
When I got my first job in New York, the first thing I did to celebrate was ditch my ancient Samsung slider and buy the iPhone 3Gs.
It cost $299 with a two-year plan. And since the first thing my mother did when I got my first job in New York was to kick me off our family account, my monthly bill quadrupled to $107.
Within a year, I worked my way through four of the suckers. One was ruined by a drop of rain, one was stolen (this was before AT&T included theft protection, so I was out $300 for a new one), another wound up in my washing machine (don't ask), and one flat out stopped working one day.
And then my iPhone 4 slipped off my bed. Just by the sound of the "SMACK" I knew the screen had shattered to smithereens (Yes, I had a case. And a screen protector.). Apple wanted $125 to fix it. I hear the back is just as likely to crack, but of course that only costs $35.
Luckily, I found "a guy" to fix it up on the cheap ($75) and used my savings for a supposedly fall-proof $40 Otter Box. Two weeks ago, my phone slipped out of my purse in an elevator. The screen shattered. Again.
Let's do the math here. Since buying my first iPhone in 2010, I've spent nearly $2,500 alone on repairs, replacements and at least five different cases.
They have a word for when someone keeps doing the same thing (in this case, buying an iPhone) and expecting different results (that it will actually last). Insanity.
The fact is that this phone is the technological equivalent of an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. I am constantly disappointed each time it fails to endure the daily hazards of my life and yet somehow I feel like I've been brainwashed into loving it (given their advertising strategy, maybe I have been?).
If I weren't so emotionally invested, I would pick up a phone that doesn't give me stress headaches.
But as stupid as I feel to admit this, once you've committed to the iPhone, it's near impossible to turn back. Like all their other foolhardy fans, I will probably deal with the screen till I can snap up the iPhone 5 in September. And I'll do it knowing, sooner or later, that it will most likely break my heart –– and my wallet –– again.