OMG! Apple is Doomed! No one wants the new iPhone!OMG! Apple is saved! Everyone wants the new iPhone!
Mixed messages everywhere... Apple bulls and bears tripping over each other to make their cases... Apple fans tripping over themselves with excitement... UPS drivers unable to drive more than a block without having to stop and deliver a tiny rectangular box... yup, it's iPhone 7 release day, and this post will serve as your highlight reel.
DON'T MISS: 10 best iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus cases we’ve found so far
Ask an Apple bear, and demand for Apple's brand new iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus is catastrophically low. There's no question that lines are much (much) shorter than they have been in past years. To a bear, that means no one cares about Apple's new iPhones and they've already flopped.
Ask an Apple bull, and it's beyond obvious that lines are shorter for two reasons. First, most people preordered a new iPhone 7 or iPhone 7 Plus this year, which is why preorders at wireless carriers were so much higher than they've been in the past. On top of that, Apple's announcement that there would be no iPhone 7 Plus models or Jet Black iPhone 7 models available for sale in stores was a clear indicator that people shouldn't bother coming out — especially since the iPhone 7 Plus appears to be the more popular model this year.
What's the reality of the situation? No one outside of Apple and its retail partners know anything for certain at this point, and that will be the case until next month when Apple reports iPhone sales alongside September-quarter earnings. There is absolutely no question that iPhone 7 Plus supply is extremely constrained, and it's also clear that demand is outpacing supply — a quick search on Twitter or Facebook shows you how many people out there are upset that they won't be getting their hands on a new Plus model on Friday.
With all that out of the way, let's all take some time to enjoy some launch-day craziness...
The lines are indeed nothing like they've been for past launches, but there are still plenty of people lining up to pick up their new iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus units today.
Of course, lines are just the beginning. Some people are actually so excited that they're dancing.
And other people are, uh, writing poetry...
And some more poetry...
Today is the day.
Before the dawn, the moon sits above a dark horizon. Full and surreal, Luna hangs like some child's sticker plastered on a speckled black canvas.
I excitedly await outside of my local T-Mobile, on the west side of my particular suburb of Detroit. Alone and shivering, I bask in the pink glow of my materialism.
May the gods smile upon all of us today. I shall report back later.