Xbox Live is down. This is not a drill! We repeat: Xbox Live is down.
Gamers everywhere are chucking Xbox controllers at walls, begrudgingly rising from their butt-shaped couch holes and maybe even getting some sunlight for once because I mean would it really kill you, honey?
CNET has confirmed with Microsoft that "Xbox Live users are unable to access the online-gaming service."
Microsoft's Xbox Live status page states, "We are aware of the problem and are working to resolve the issue. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and thank you for your patience."
It better be up by the time we get home from work, because it's Friday and we have some robots to shoot.