Excerpted from Fat Is the New 30, the brand-new installment in the Sweet Potato Queens series, by New York Times best-selling author Jill Conner Browne:
10. The best survival tool ever devised is the Concept of Complete Denial, aka: "Let's talk about watermelon."
9. Hyperbole is also helpful. If there is the slightest hiccup in our day, we immediately go to "This is the worst day of my life!"
8. There is hardly anything in life that cannot be improved by gobs of gravy.
7. Feeling full feels better than being thin does.
6. Spa time should be considered a necessity, and there should be legislation introduced to provide it.
5. If what you've got is a money problem, well, then money is pretty much the only thing that will solve it.
4. Time is one of the very few—if not the only—fair thing in the entire universe. Everybody gets the same daily allotment of 86,400 seconds, and the spending of those is our exclusive option and responsibility.
3. There is a popular misconception that one has no choice but to maintain a close and lifelong association with persons who share one's DNA and/or had the same street address during one's formative years. I beg to differ.
2. Get as happy as you can manage about the fact that you are still having a birthday.