Failure is the President and CEO, along with his partner, Total the polar bear,
of Total Failure, Inc., run the greatest detective agency in town, perhaps the
state, maybe even the nation…or so he thinks. In
reality Timmy is the equivalent of “Sherlock Hopeless” but he presses on, case
by case, in pursuit of fame and fortune in the crime solving world. One thing
Timmy never wavers on is his own greatness, and since time is money, he is very
selective about interviews and press. These opportunities are reserved for best
The thing about being a world-famous detective is that
everyone wants a piece of you.
And there is only so much Timmy to go around.
Thus far, I have granted only one interview request. To my best friend Rollo Tookus.
You see, Rollo has a 4.6 GPA. And consequently, is dumb as rocks.
So I hand him a list of interview questions.
"What are these?" asks Rollo.
"The queries," I tell him. "I suspected you'd come unprepared. So I drafted the questions myself."
"I can't ask this," he says, glancing down at the
"Read it," I tell him. "You've insulted me enough
He clears his throat and mumbles.
"'Were you born great or did you make yourself
I rise from my seat. And walk toward the door.
"What?" he asks. "It's your silly question."
"I don't like your tone."
"My tone?" he asks. "Where are you going?"
"I'm walking out on the interview. Let this be a lesson."'
But it is my room we are sitting in.
So I walk back in.
"Please leave," I tell him.
"Fine," he says. "I have homework anyway."
"Fine," I say. "And if you have any more questions, you'll have to go through my
publicist. I'm sure he won't be pleased
with you either."
"Your publicist?" he says. "Who's your