At Life Of Android it’s our goal to wade through the rubbish that occasionally clogs up the Android Market and bring you what’s worth downloading. Sometimes, our jaws collectively drop at the awfulness at some of the apps which we spy rising up the Trending App charts and occasionally end up in our inboxes for review.
In honour of the hilariously and offensively bad apps in which little thought or quality control has been invested, we’ve endeavoured to name and shame the downloads you should avoid at all costs.
When were first contacted about Cat Thing we genuinely thought it was a joke. “Cat Thing allows you to hear my interpretation of what a cat sounds like at the press of a button,” read the email. “It’s just that easy!” As hard as it was to believe, Cat Thing seriously is just one man’s cat impression, taped and released to the world via the Android Market. Outstanding!
Lust For Bust
Nearly 100,000 Android owners have downloaded Lust For Bust, this makes us more than a little bit angry. Essentially an old Flash game converted for Google’s smartphone OS, this horrifically sexist offering revolves around gamers staring at a set of boobs for the longest amount of time possible. If you slip up, you get beaten up by an irate boyfriend. Deservedly so.
Are you the one of those people that delights in toying with their scabs and hairs until they fall off? Then indulge this disgusting habit further with Hair Plucker, the most revolting app we’ve encountered on Android. The aim of the game is quite literally to pick tricky hairs off the bodies of attractive cartoon girls, the more hairs you pick the harder the game becomes. Note to self: If a hot female asks you to come back to hers and pick her scabs you STILL say no.
Mark Zuckerberg came so close to creating the perfect social network but he missed one crucial opportunity for human interaction. That is a specific utility for sharing your experiences while squeezing out a number two. Thankfully the iPoo app fills this hole in the market nicely.
If you’re in the lavatory and have your Android to hand, iPoo allows you to check how many fellow toilet fanatics are on the john at the same time as you and post a status update documenting your experiences while dropping a deuce. As funny as this all sounds, we can’t help but think of the obvious hygiene troubles iPoo provokes.
Flags Of North America
Live wallpapers for Android smartphones are hugely popular and ridiculously tacky. We dislike them almost uniformly so it was hard to single out one particularly offender but Flags Of North America’s hyper-patriotic stance did raise a wry chuckle. Obviously, a true American wouldn’t be in his right mind without the flag of his state or nation displayed on his smartphone. To fail to do so is basically tantamount to treason.
To find out more of our favourite downloads for Android smartphones check out Life Of Android’s Best Apps chart.